Bolutife Oluwadele
3 min readJun 26, 2021

Hey, comrade, long time no see!

When did you join NLC (Nigerian Labour Congress)?

We are ‘Amebolistic’ comrades nau.

You and who please?

Two of us, friends made in heaven.

Abegi, go straight to your gist.

Do you see what I meant now? Gist partners unlimited! 😂

Don’t waste my time, my ‘fren.’

Have you heard Uncle Lai lately?

He has been okpata yarning recently.

You are very correct.

So, which one in particular?

The warning about the use of VPN

It is just too laughable.

I think he was trying for once to be nice.

Nice ko 9ice ni! 😅

Wey the guy dey sef?

He was trying to break Tu Baba record

Bhet he nor wait to do freedom.

Forget dat wan and continue Uncle Lai’s gist.

He was begging us to stop using VPN.

So that we don’t continue doing ourselves

And leak our data to total strangers.

You will think he is now an IT expert.

Maybe he was trained in Otigba. 😅

Which one is Otigba again?

Don’t you know Computer village in Ikeja?

We go talk dat wan later’.

So back to Uncle Lai

And his unsolicited advice about VPN.

Gist me nah

The tin be say.


Free VPN may be dangerous to us.

As no commitment to any form of security

Like, say we dey do ourselves — unknowingly.

And our people kuku ‘laik’ awufu die.

How for do hinsaid dis Buhari economy.

While paid VPN may mask your location

The unpaid may, in addition, collect your data.

For third parties marketing deals.

Nothing is totally free.

And that is the crux of the matter.

If bad guys have access to your BVN

The most dreaded ‘data’ in Nigeria

And make away with your hard-earned money.

Assuming say na everybody get moni for Bank. 😂

Uncle Lai suppose know our financial status nau.

In this government that lives in self-denials.

Of poverty alleviation for ‘ghosts beneficiaries.’ 😂

Nah, you sabi dat wan o!

Meanwhile, the real people are pauperized daily.

And will go for anything free.

Not minding whatever consequences there may be.

Are you now saying Uncle Lai was right by asking us to stop using VPN?

Well, I think we should be talking about the difference between free and paid versions.

That was not the intention.

What was the intention then?

To appeal to our stubborn disobedience to the Twitter ban.

Which makes the government looks like a toothless bulldog.

Who cannot command the citizens to reason with them.

Not minding the economic injury of the ban to the people.

Protecting the Government ego is more important to Uncle Lai.

Maybe they will soon develop their own VPN. 😂

You mean like the Crowwe App? 😂

To pretend they are protecting (Nigerians) from data breaches.

Or in the spirit of consuming what we ‘produce.’

That is the ‘lai’ of the matter, perhaps.

Your head is correct, aswear!

Don’t mention it at all.

So, what next?

We will wait for the next episode of half-truths!


NB: Don’t forget to grab a copy of “Thoughts of A Village Boy” if you have not already. Let me know if you need one now. Please o, ẹnú gbẹ o.



Bolutife Oluwadele

Author of “Thoughts Of A Village Boy”|| Chartered Accountant|| Public Policy Enthusiast & Scholar || Business Consultant|| Columnist @premiumtimes ||MAN U FAN